Enter Sandman
by focsfyr
Summary: Wufei's having nightmares and Duo is determined to find out why. Warning for mm relationship and remembered abuse


Warning: angst, remembered abuse, sap, yaoi, twisting and mutilation of Ep. 0 facts  
  
Pairing: 2+5/5+2  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the G-boys. "Enter Sandman" belongs to Metallica, I don't own them either. I'm not making any money, it's all in fun, so don't sue me or anything because all I own it my cat (or does he own me? You can never be sure with cats...)  
  
Archive: If you want it, you can go ahead and take it. Just tell me where onegai.  
  
C&C: Please ^_^  
  
//lyrics//  
  
~~flashback~~  
  
thoughts  
  
*emphasis*  
  
----scene/POV change-----  
  
Enter Sandman  
  
//Say your prayers little one  
  
Don't forget my son  
  
To include everyone//  
  
~~The sound of the harsh slap echoed loudly down the hallway. It was closely followed by a sharp gasp of pain, carefully muffled to avoid waking the child in the bedroom down the hall. The wide-eyed boy who lay awake, hands over his ears to block out the pained whimpers, tears soaking a tightly clutched pillow. He flinched and huddled further under the blankets as the sound of fist meeting flesh once again reached his young ears. And it didn't stop with a single blow...it never stopped until pain filled screams filled the night.~~  
  
--------------------------  
  
"*Damn* man! What do you do, *live* on coffee?"  
  
Wufei looked up from the book he had been reading to send a murderous glare toward the boy who had just landed on the couch beside him. But, the cold stare that *should* have held enough warning to send the other boy running for cover failed to make those violet eyes so much as flinch. Damn, must be losing my touch. The Asian pilot's expression darkened with annoyance. Then again, Duo has never known when to back off. Just look at how he antagonizes Heero.  
  
The braided boy met the icy glare with a cheerful grin and leaned over to make a grab for the book lying open in the Chinese boy's lap.  
  
"Watcha reading?" Wufei jerked the book out of reach of the other boy...who then proceeded to snatch the mug of coffee that *had* been resting on the arm of the sofa. Said coffee disappeared down Duo's throat in moments.  
  
"None of your business Maxwell," Wufei growled through tightly clenched teeth. He shut his annoyed eyes and made a heroic attempt to reign in his temper, mind keeping up a steady chant I will not kill him...I will not kill him...it is dishonorable to kill idiots and fools...  
  
"What are you doing drinking coffee at 11 at night anyway, Wu-man?" Velvet eyes snapped open as the hated nickname wrenched him from his thoughts. I'm going to *kill* him! "You'd almost think you didn't like sleeping..." The American pilot continued in a shocked voice as he toyed with the end of his braid. After all, sleep was the next best thing to food, what's not to like about it?  
  
A contemptuous snort was all the answer he received as the slender pilot abruptly stood and stalked up the stairs, slamming the door to his room behind him. Duo winced as the deafening `crack!' of the violently closed door rang in his ears. Ouch! One of these days he's gonna *break* that door. And, of course, he'd have a good laugh when the stoic pilot finally did. He seriously needs to lighten up and get a sense of humor.  
  
Duo's gaze wandered over to the book that lay forgotten on the couch. That was weird... Bored with his braid, Duo's fingers wandered across the sofa cushions and began to lazily flip the pages of the book. "Hmm, `Cat's Cradle.' Wonder if it's any good..." He didn't glare, he didn't insult me, hell, he didn't even make any of the usual biting comments! I wonder why he just walked out like that...?  
  
-----------------------  
  
//Tuck you in all within  
  
Keep you free from sin  
  
Until the Sandman he comes//  
  
Wufei stripped off his clothes and tore the rubber band from his hair, scowling fleetingly at his reflection before turning on the shower and drenching himself in the freezing water. "Don't want to sleep..." He quickly washed and let the slowly warming spray rinse the soap from his body. It was too bad it couldn't rinse away the nightmares. "Don't want to sleep...?" Baka...he wouldn't want to either... He rested his forehead against the cool tiled wall and let the now scalding water sluice over his skin, warming his body though it could do nothing for the chill emptiness in his soul.  
  
Nearly half an hour later, he emerged from the shower and walked silently into his darkened bedroom. With a few quick movements he dried his skin and hair and pulled on clean boxers, tossing the towel carelessly over the back of a chair as he flung his lithe body onto the white sheets of his bed.  
  
White...clean. No blood, no bruises, no screams to keep me awake... He pulled the sheets tight around his body, midnight hair fanned across the pillow, tickling his jaw with every breath. Nothing to fear. No, there was nothing to be afraid of, not in this house. Just five trained killers. Five soldiers who had to be more than a little bit crazy to try to take on a force hundreds, thousands of times larger. Five children with hands that were permanently stained crimson with the blood of soldiers...and innocents.  
  
How many innocents had they killed in this war? How many civilians had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time? How many people had lost their friends, parents, sisters, brothers...children due to their carelessness? His carelessness?  
  
A faint shiver worked its way up his spine. They're not just a faceless enemy...they're people, just like us. People with friends and family waiting and praying for them to return home safely... The dark haired boy shook his head, quickly ending that train of thought. Letting his mind linger on *that* would do nothing but remind him that he didn't have family, didn't have friends, that he didn't have a home. The only home he had ever known had been stolen from him along with his mothers life. No other place had ever felt like home after that.  
  
Well, don't have to worry about that any more. It's all gone now. Blown into a million pieces while I just sat there and watched. Watched his world vanish in a ball of fire taking the lives of his friends, his family and millions of others with it. A soft, rueful laugh escaped his lips. God, I'm pathetic. Can't seem to get anything right. They didn't deserve to die for his mistakes, none of them did ...so why the hell did they die and I survive?  
  
Long, ebony lashes brushed his copper cheeks, fatigue finally forcing his eyes closed, but not stopping the thoughts that lingered in his mind. If I had been faster, I could have stopped it. I *should* have stopped it. It was my fault...so why am I the only one left alive?  
  
//Sleep with one eye open  
  
Gripping your pillow tight//  
  
------------------------  
  
~~His labored gasps echoed harshly in his ears as his mind froze in terror. He couldn't breathe! His desperate attempts to draw air into his lungs only succeeded in prompting a faint cough as he weakly pried at the hand leaving bruised finger prints all around his neck. No...let me go... a soft whimper escaped his lips. I didn't do anything... The choking grip suddenly left his throat and he drew in a pained breath only to have it forced from his lungs as a hard fist once again connected with his ribs. Blow after bruising blow followed, curses and insults fell upon ears that could barely hear them anymore...  
  
//Exit: Light//  
  
...as darkness closed in and his field of vision narrowed...  
  
//Enter: Night//  
  
...and the pain faded to a dull ache...  
  
//Take my hand  
  
We're off to Never Never Land//  
  
Until a final blow slammed his frail body into the wall and pain ran like fire through the base of his skull...~~  
  
And he awoke in his sweat-soaked bed, barely biting back the scream that had risen in his throat. He lay there for a moment, curled in a ball with his arms braced to take the impact of blows that never came, before he rose and stumbled to the window. Trembling hands fumbled desperately with the catch before finally managing to slam the window open. He fell to his knees and rested his cheek against the window frame, drawing gasping lungfulls of clean spring air deep into his shuddering body, never even noticing the tears rolling down his face.  
  
--------------------  
  
//Something's wrong, shut the light  
  
Heavy thoughts tonight  
  
And they aren't of Snow White//  
  
A loud slam wrenched Duo from his sleep. With an assassins quick reflexes he flew from the bed and pressed his back to the wall beside the door, listening intently for whatever had cause the unexpected noise. Seconds passed...then minutes...until he finally heard a faint whisper of sound. Battle tension and anxiety drained from his body, giving way to mild curiosity. It was...breathing? No, there it was again...it sounded almost like someone was...*Crying*? Nah, it can't be. Who would be crying?  
  
Quickly putting his hair back into its customary braid, he slipped soundlessly from the room and started cautiously down the hall. Those soft, elusive murmurs of sound guided him down the carpeted hall to a sliver of moonlight pouring from a slightly open door.  
  
One violet eye peered through the crack, but saw only a wall and a splash of moonlit carpet. Wow. his mind stated sarcastically. That was a *big* help. He slowly moved until his ear was next to the opening. Nearly undetectable whispers of sound resolved into sobbing breaths as the person within struggled to regain control of himself. Worry flooded Deathscythe's pilot as his ears caught the breathy sound. The only other pilots in the safe house were Trowa and Wufei. What could possibly make one of those silent, stoic pilots lose control like this? A tentative push proved that the door would make no sound, and he began to slowly ease it open to get a glimpse of the rest of the room.  
  
// Dreams of war, dreams of liars  
  
Dreams of dragon's fire  
  
And of things that will bite//  
  
Duo froze. The entire room was bathed in a silver glow. It looked ...unreal...ethereal, like a scene out of a fairy world. Moonlight illuminated the room, spilling across the floor and bed, painting everything in silver and black with no shades of gray in between. The sharp boundaries between light and dark gave everything a chiseled look, as if the entire scene had been carved from stone, from the rumpled bed sheets to the slender figure kneeling before the window.  
  
Irresistibly, Duo's wide-eyed gaze was drawn to the petit form that he immediately identified as the pilot of gundam Shenlong. The other boy knelt beside the window, one white-knuckled hand clutching the windowsill, the other tangled in long strands of black silk, his head bowed to rest against the white window frame. Unbound hair fell in a lightless veil across elven features, gently brushing his collarbone and shoulders. Soft silver light edged the sharply defined muscles of his back and caressed the smooth lines of his shoulders and arms. Beautiful...  
  
A softly hitched breath shattered the silence. Duo shook off the moonlights hypnotic spell and stepped into the room. Only then, looking closer did he see the defeated slump of the shoulders, the soft shivers that shook the slender body before him, the shine of tears that had dripped onto the windowsill. Silent feet carried him to the smaller pilots side. Holding his breath, he reached one slender hand toward Wufei's shoulder...  
  
----------------------  
  
Tear filled ebony eyes shot open, nightmares momentarily forgotten, as Wufei felt a light brush against his shoulder. What...? Acting on reflex, he dove to the side and slid smoothly into fighting position. Spinning to face the shadowed figure, he aimed a roundhouse kick toward the intruders head. He mentally cursed himself as the nimble form danced out of the way of his kick. Damn it, *focus* baka! You can't win a fight unless you calm down and *FOCUS*!!! As soon as he touched ground he turned and threw a punch toward the intruders jaw...the short...skinny...*braided* intruder?!  
  
"Shit!" Exerting all the control that had been drilled into his head by numerous martial arts teachers, Wufei managed to pull the punch before it connected with the violet-eyed boys chin.  
  
// Sleep with one eye open  
  
Gripping your pillow tight  
  
Exit: Light  
  
Enter: Night//  
  
Duo stared as the fist hovered inches from his face before falling back to the Chinese pilots side. Brilliant Duo, his mind snarled sarcastically, sneak up on a hurt, paranoid martial artist who has just been caught crying and values his pride and privacy a *hell* of a lot more that your worthless little life. He flashed an unrepentant grin at the angry black eyes that were trying to burn a hole in his forehead.  
  
"What are you doing in my room, Maxwell?" Wufei growled. The chestnut haired boy just kept a wide grin plastered on his face [1] as his mind ran a mile a minute. Shit! What do I say to that? Can't joke, can't be sarcastic, can't tell him what I saw `cause that'll piss him off more. Shi~it!! How the hell do you calm down a temperamental terrorist!?!  
  
After a few tense moments Duo's mind stopped running in circles and he came up with a plan: when you don't want to answer the question, only answer part of it. His grin relaxed into something a little less forced and nonchalantly replied "Couldn't sleep."  
  
//Take my hand  
  
We're off to Never Never Land//  
  
"Really..." Duo inwardly winced at the emotionless reply. He wasn't stupid, he heard the death threats implied with that one word. Well, that didn't work. Duo glanced nervously toward the door. Hey, at least he wouldn't have to run too far to when it was time to make his escape. His eyes shifted back toward Wufei just in time to see him take a threatening step toward him. Shit! I'm *dead*! He closed his eyes and braced for the blow that he knew was about to come.  
  
It didn't.  
  
Nani..? Puzzled violet eyes eased open. Wufei...? What the hell? The other boy stood motionless in a puddle of moonlight, a look of shock, horror and...was that a flicker of hurt that he saw in those breathtaking black eyes? Nah...this was Wufei he was talking about. No way was Wufei hurt by something that Duo-bane-of-his-existence-Maxwell had done. But the unaccustomed hurt and helplessness in those dark eyes remained. He looked so...vulnerable. God, it just makes me want to cuddle him `till... Duo blinked. Hold up...*cuddle*? *Wufei*??  
  
--------------------  
  
Wufei felt like he'd just been punched in the stomach. Duo expected him to hit him. A cold ache grew in his chest as he stared in shock at the loudmouth baka that stood before him, eyes scrunched closed and face turned away. ~~A bruising slap stung his cheek.~~ It hurt. He cared about Duo, he was one of the only people he considered a friend. ~~a small child choked back tears.~~ Much as the baka annoyed him, he would willingly give his life to protect him, and would trust him with his own life without a seconds hesitation... ~~he didn't dare fight back. If he did, he would just get hurt more~~ And he had actually believed that he would deliberately hurt him.  
  
// Now I lay me down to sleep  
  
(Now I lay me down to sleep)//  
  
"Wu?" A soft voice startled him from his thoughts. "Hey man, are you okay?" He quickly focused his eyes on the boy standing only inches away from him and forced his expression back into its impassive mask.  
  
"Yes." No. "I'm fine. Now would you please get out of my room?" Good, he'd kept the tremor out of his voice. But dear gods, his mask was cracking... Just go *away*! I can't keep this up much longer.  
  
------------------------  
  
There was nothing in either his voice or expression to give him away, to reveal his lie. It was the eyes that betrayed him. Even if he didn't realize it, his stoic mask hid nothing when Duo could still see the haunted fear in his eyes.  
  
Duo didn't move. There was obviously something wrong and, well, curiosity did kill the cat, but it couldn't kill Shinigami...he hoped.  
  
Ahou. He won't even ask for help when he needs it. He snorted quietly. So I'm gonna help him whether he wants me to or not! He stepped closer to the slender boy standing before him. Startled, Wufei took a step back. Heh Duo thought humorlessly one step forward, one step back. Well, at least he didn't take two steps.[2] He stepped forward again.  
  
Wufei stuttered slightly as he struggled to stay his usual calm and collected self. "I-I told you, Maxwell, I'm f-fine. Now..."  
  
"Liar." Duo breathed softly.  
  
//Pray the Lord my soul to keep  
  
(Pray the Lord my soul to keep)//  
  
The smaller pilots eyes narrowed dangerously. "What did you say?" he asked, anger lending him the strength to bolster his shields and keep up the act of normality.  
  
Duo resisted the urge to smack himself on the forehead. BAKA!! You don't deliberately piss someone off when you're trying to get them to tell you what's wrong! Especially when that someone happens to be one of the deadliest people in the colonies when he's *calm,* let alone when he's *angry!* His eyes roamed along the line of Wufei's jaw. Although...he's awfully cute when he's angry...ack!... The impulse to bang his head against the wall was almost irresistible. Instead he focused his wandering eyes firmly on the floor. SCARY! I meant scary! He's awfully *scary* when he's angry! Not cute! D'ya hear me *NOT CUTE*!!!  
  
Duo wasn't quite sure just who he was mentally yelling at, but what did he care? All that mattered was that Wufei WAS NOT CUTE. He was NOT cute and even if he was Is why would he care? You think he is. He didn't like him You *know* he is. he would *never* like him You know you want him `cause he didn't like guys Look at those eyes... he liked girls ...that face... he flirted with them all the time. ...that body. There was no way he was falling Fell for another guy too late especially not one who seemed to enjoy hurting him when he got annoyed with his perpetual talking. Ha! That should shut him up he thought triumphantly...then why am I having arguments with myself over this? It doesn't matter anyway, Fei hates me.  
  
The other voice paused. He doesn't Duo blinked. Has he ever really hurt you? Ummm... has he ever tried to follow through on those death threats? Well... And what about just now? Didn't he pull that punch when he realized it was you? ...yeah... and didn't he look awfully hurt when you acted like you expected him to hit you? Duo shivered remembering that horrible look in Wufei's beautiful black eyes. Yeah See, he doesn't hate you and you just said yourself that you think his eyes are beautiful. So what're ya waiting for?  
  
// And if I die before I wake  
  
(If I die before I wake)//  
  
Nothing Having finally made peace with himself, Duo lifted his gaze from the floor to meet the aforementioned beautiful onyx eyes...that were staring at him......with the *strangest* look.  
  
"What? Did I grow horns or something?" One elegant eyebrow rose slowly, changing the look from strange to downright *weird.* Why's he looking at me so funny? What'd I do? Oh, nothing. His rebellious mind replied sarcastically. Just stood there staring at the ground for a few minutes sorting out your screwed up feelings. You shut up! Make me! Oh yeah. He could do that to his own thoughts, couldn't he. Well, I feel stupid. *snicker.*  
  
With a disdainful sniff, Duo finally silenced his inner voice's backtalk and he again turned his attention to the confused boy that was standing before him. "Ano...Duo? Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I was just thinkin' about some stuff..."  
  
---------------------  
  
Wufei replied with a contemptuous smirk. "Don't hurt yourself."  
  
It was low, it was cruel, it wasn't something you say to a friend...but it worked. He needed Duo gone, fast, his facade was failing and he was running out of ideas. Right now, getting Duo out of his room was the top priority, so he ignored the nagging of his conscience and did the one thing that was guaranteed to make him leave...quickly: he insulted his intelligence.  
  
Hey, *he* knew Duo was no idiot. If anything, he was one of the smartest of the five...but Wufei wasn't about to let on that he knew that. With the lengths Duo went to to act the fool and hide his intelligence, he would just respond with a cutting comment and leave the room before he lost control of his temper completely. He hated to resort to such spiteful manipulation, especially to drive away someone he cared about, but he couldn't do anything about it now. It was already too late.  
  
Anger poured off the enraged boy in waves so strong they could have leveled a mountain. In the face of such fury, Wufei *should* have been on his knees begging forgiveness. Instead, he let out an inaudible, relieved sigh. That's it Duo, get mad and *get out.* It shouldn't be long now. It would only be a matter of moments until Duo would stalk out and leave him to shed his tears in peace. Why doesn't that make me as happy as it should? He thought wistfully. It would be nice to have someone who would listen...who would hold me while I cried... Ruthlessly, he silenced his traitorous thoughts and kept a haughty, superior look plastered to his face. He opened his mouth to further provoke the braided boy and...stopped.  
  
The infuriated pilot stood stiffly, hands fisted at his sides and jaw clenched as if too keep angry words from spilling from those luscious lips. His slender body was silhouetted by the soft light streaming through the window. The faint light made the rumpled wisps of sleep-tousled hair that stuck out from his head in all directions gleam against the shadows. Those silvery strands formed a shimmering aura around him was positively unearthly.  
  
Wufei's eyes roamed across that perfect body with a will of their own. Soon, a faint blush warmed his cheeks, and he silently blessed the dim lighting. Gods, he's gorgeous when he's angry... His breath caught in his throat as dark velvet eyes caressed their way down Duo's long muscled legs.  
  
A sharp mental slap shook him from his reverie. *STOP* it! He wrenched his eyes back up to Duo's face. You are going to end this train of thought immediately and concentrate on getting him out of the room, His mind barked. And keep your eyes where they belong! You are *not* going to sit here and drool over a guy and you *definitely* aren't going to fall for him!  
  
//Pray the Lord my soul to take  
  
(Pray the Lord my soul to take)//  
  
After all, that's what had started this whole mess in the first place.  
  
-----------------------  
  
Duo stood silently, rage running through him in like wildfire.  
  
Hell, he knew he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box [3]...but God dammit, he wasn't stupid, not by a long shot! He was a gundam pilot. He would never have been given Shinigami if he was as brainless as he pretended to be, and the obnoxious little bastard currently smirking at him damn well *knew* it! Of all the pilots, Wufei was the only one that Duo knew had figured out just how smart he actually was. And having *him,* of all people, insult his intelligence made him want to slap that smirk right off his gorgeous face!  
  
Duo paused in his mental tirade. Something about those last few thoughts just didn't quite add up...  
  
Alright, let's calm down and look at this rationally. He bit back a chuckle. If any of the other pilots could hear him now they'd probably die of shock! Point number 1: Insults to my intelligence make me angry enough to take down OZ single-handed. That fact had certainly been proved time and time again. Wufei was smart; he had to have figured that out by now. Number 2: He's seen the lengths I go to to get back at Heero when *he* insults me. And number 3: He's seen me in action, he's faced Shinigami. He knows that an angry Duo is a very, very *dangerous* Duo.  
  
Duo narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Wufei had insulted just about everything about him at one time or another, but he had never once attacked his intelligence. Why would he be stupid enough to start now?  
  
A moment later, the answer hit him and he rolled his eyes in exasperation. Of course: Wufei was trying to piss him off until that he lost his temper and left. DUH! Duo no baka! You've gotta be almost as stupid as him to miss that one! And of course here he was, hands so tightly fisted that his knuckles were white, teeth aching from being clenched for so long and just about ready blow a fuse. In short, just about to do exactly what that stubborn Chinese brat wanted. I think *not*! With little effort, he threw off the last of his anger, unknotting his fists and relaxing his body. Now that he knew Wufei's strategy, he could tell that he was just barely holding it together, just playing it cool until Duo left. A wicked smile flitted across his lips. Heh, let's see what happens when I don't.  
  
//Hush little baby, don't say a word//  
  
Duo smirked, looked at Wufei and waited. And waited...and waited......and waited. He could almost hear the silence stretched out between them, just waiting to be shattered, until a soft whisper of sound did just that. Startled, Duo broke their impromptu staring contest and cast his gaze around the room. What...? A flicker of movement drew his attention.  
  
Amethyst orbs widened in surprise. Wufei's arms were folded across his waist, slim fingers unconsciously toying with a...what was that? A silver bracelet? Despite the seriousness of the situation, Duo almost burst out laughing. Calm, stoic, imperturbable Wufei was *fidgeting*?! And he didn't even realize it!  
  
Wufei fidgeting was like Heero cracking jokes: it just didn't happen! He was usually much too controlled to do something so...telling. That tiny motion betrayed the fact that he was extremely nervous, maybe even scared? I'd say Wu-chan doesn't get scared...but then again, he doesn't cry either. In fact, everything that had happened tonight pointed straight toward the fact that Wufei wasn't nearly as strong as he liked to pretend he was. He was just like the rest of them, a lost child fighting a war he wasn't ready for when he should only have to worry about grades and how he did on yesterdays math test. I wonder what's freaking him out so much? He's hurting...bad. If he keeps all the pain inside like he's doing, he's gonna snap. He was almost afraid to think of what was terrible enough that Wufei would cut himself off from human contact so completely.  
  
His best...well, *only* guess that it had something to do with the past that Wufei so carefully avoided hinting at. None of them had any idea who or what he had been before he became a pilot, but that was probably because none of them had ever tried to find out. If he had put in the time and effort, he could have learned all about the stoic pilot, but as it was, what he knew about the beautiful boy that had somehow stolen his heart would barely fill a teaspoon. And here he was, dangerously close to breaking down, and too wary to even accept the comfort of a friend. Or he doesn't expect to be offered comfort. he mused. Could *that* be it? He doesn't expect anyone to care?  
  
Well, there was one way to fix that...hopefully.  
  
Duo steeled himself and made his move, hoping against hope that it was the right one.  
  
------------------------  
  
Wufei gasped as strong arms wrapped around his body, trapping his hands and arms against Duo's bare chest. Though he twisted and struggled wildly to pull away, the braided boy held him close, stubbornly refusing to release him. But the emotional turmoil and sleepless nights had taken their toll on the delicate Chinese and after a few moments, his stopped fighting and surrendered to Duo's embrace.  
  
He slumped bonelessly against Duo's body, resting his head against his smooth chest, and listened to the steady rhythm of Duo's heart. He let his eyes drift closed, drunk on Duo's intoxicating scent as he reveled in the silken touch of skin against skin. Chest, back, arms, face--his body tingled everywhere that Duo's bare skin brushed his. Physically, he hadn't been this close to anyone in years, let alone someone he was so strongly attracted to. He hadn't been held so lovingly since his mother died, not even by Zhie.[4] They had always been rather shy and uncertain with each other, and the danger of being caught had discouraged long, lingering embraces. Their few moments of intimacy had been limited to stolen kisses and the extremely rare midnight tryst. But now...to feel so shielded, protected, cared for...wanted...It felt perfect.  
  
But wonderful as it was, it had to stop.  
  
Tears welled up in Wufei's eyes, but he squeezed his eyes shut and refused to let them fall. He couldn't break down in front of Duo, he couldn't allow him to see him cry. His bruised and battered heart was riddled with cracks and seeing that lovely face twisted in contempt would likely be the blow that shattered it.  
  
~~"*Boys don't cry!*" Hands gripped the teary-eyed boy's shoulders hard enough to leave bruised fingerprints as the enraged man shook him violently. "You hear me?! No son of mine is going to grow up to be a fucking *fag* so quit your goddamn whining and be a man!"~~  
  
//And never mind that noise you heard//  
  
He lifted his head from its place on the other boys chest and pulled away slightly, keeping his head bowed to hide the tears clouding his vision, "Duo, let me go." Despite his best effort, his voice emerged as a faint pleading whisper. "Let go," a little stronger this time, a little steadier. Hopefully he wouldn't notice the tears tainting his voice.  
  
Duo nuzzled the shorter boys ear and buried long fingers in his mane of ebon silk, whispering the words that heralded both Wufei's salvation and his doom. But while Wufei heard what Duo said, he wasn't really listening to what they meant. He had melted once Duo began running his fingers through his hair, and took notice of Duo's speech only because it sent a hot breath of air wafting across his ear. But the last word snagged his attention and he jerked away, forgetting to hide the tears still clouding his eyes. "W-" He swallowed convulsively as his voice caught in his throat. "What did you say?"  
  
Duo reached over and pulled Wufei back into his arms. "It's okay to cry."  
  
--------------------  
  
Duo slid to the floor, cradling the shaking boy against his chest. His heart was torn between aching sorrow prompted by the fragile boys silent sobs and blinding joy at the feel of the slender body curled in his lap with one arm wrapped around his waist.  
  
He knew he shouldn't feel so obscenely...happy...during a time like this, but how could he help it when he held his love...love? Duo blinked. Yes, the warmth running like liquid sunshine through his veins and suffusing him in its radiant glow couldn't be anything else. His lips curved into a gentle smile, he loved Wufei. Really, truly I-want-to-live-together-and-grow-old-with-you loved him.  
  
But his koi didn't need confessions of love right now, he needed comfort, so that was what he would get. His hand rubbed soothing circles on Wufei's back and rocked him gently, while salty tears traced wet paths down his chest.  
  
It was only a few minutes before the tears stopped, but Duo continued to caress Wufei's back until he had stopped trembling and his breathing had evened out.  
  
===Duo's question was on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to be spoken aloud, but he hesitated to do so. With all he'd seen tonight, there was no telling how Wufei would react.=== Would he pull away, hiding himself behind affronted anger? Would he break down completely, temporarily releasing some of the emotional strain, but resolving nothing...or would he relent and tell Duo what was causing him so much pain?  
  
If his actions tonight were any indication, the cause of the pain was old and deeply engraved upon heart and soul. Like Duo, his pain was buried in his past, the only difference being how they hid it. What Duo masked with smiles, Wufei concealed with scowls. Duo deluded people into thinking he was letting them close while Wufei was openly pushed them away.  
  
They were so alike, yet so different.  
  
Duo bit his lip and debated asking his question. It was a toss up as to whether it would prompt a long, pain-filled discussion of the past and its trials...or a screaming temper tantrum in which he got his ass kicked out of a certain swordsman's room.  
  
"Wufei," he began hesitantly. A fuzzy "hmmm?" was all the answer he received. Duo opened his mouth to continue, but shut it without saying a word. Gah! Usually I just blurt out my question so I don't have to think about it, but if I say something wrong now, I'll never get through to him. But damnit, I'm no good at asking delicate questions! He sighed. Maybe it was better just to be blunt, but take it a little bit at a time so he wouldn't feel too threatened.  
  
"Talk to me?" Yeah, good enough. To his relief, Wufei didn't try to pull away *or* avoid answering it. Of course silence wasn't exactly the best response in the world either. "Talk to me, Wufei," he pleaded. "Tell me what's wrong."  
  
Wufei sniffled softly. My, my, Duo thought dryly. I'm making some *real* progress now.  
  
"It doesn't matter."  
  
The unprompted answer caught Duo by surprise so it took a moment to reconnect his mind and mouth. "Of course it matters! You're my friend and all I really know about you is that you're a fifteen year old Chinese pilot from L5 who..." Shit. He knew he had hit a taboo topic when he felt the slender body in his arms tense. He hurriedly continued as Wufei opened his mouth to retort. "I know what happened." Wufei's mouth snapped shut. "I know why you lost your colony, your family..."  
  
Wufei flinched and, though the moonlight had washed all color from Wufei's skin, Duo could still see his face go a shade paler. Yep, family's part of the problem. But his colony was destroyed less than six weeks ago, this problem's been haunting him for months, maybe even years. "Please Wufei, tell me..."  
  
//It's just the beasts under your bed,  
  
In your closet, in your head//  
  
"I can't..."  
  
Duo cut him off before he could argue "You *can.* I've dealt with my own share of demons Wufei, let me help you with yours."  
  
Pain and conflict passed across Wufei's delicate face as he struggled with his own habitual distrust. He wanted to give in, to trust Duo. But right now he was treading on foreign ground. He had never seen Duo act so serious and genuinely caring before, and what with his own attraction to the usually boisterous teen, he had absolutely no idea what to say or do. But above all, he had the nagging feeling that the person cuddling him was not the real Duo Maxwell, that the person holding him so lovingly was just another mask to guard against the real world. He had no right to ask him to bare his soul while he surrounded his with mile high walls.  
  
Wufei's utter silence was what clued Duo in to the fact that he still wasn't quite ready to trust him. He had the nagging feeling that, thought he had made first move, he was going to have to coax Wufei every step of the way if he wanted to get his answers. But that meant being as open with Wufei as he wanted Wufei to be with him. He'd have to drop his guard, rid himself of the psychotic grins and false smiles.  
  
He hoped it would be worth it.  
  
With the utmost care, he began to discard his multitude of identities. He was a Gundam pilot. He was death. He was a murderer, terrorist, assassin... The list of faces he wore seemed limitless. But one by one, he pealed them away and as each disappeared, his soul felt lighter, freer, as if ridding himself of invisible cloaks that had no purpose but to hold him down. Thief, street rat, Shinigami...they all melted away until all that was left was `Duo.' It was...unsettling. Like standing naked on stage for all the world to see. But right now, his world consisted of only one, and for that one, he was willing to bear the discomfort.  
  
--------------------------  
  
If Duo being his usual bouncy self was beautiful, then Duo without the false persona was absolutely breathtaking. The cheerful, loudmouthed baka vanished, leaving in its place the loveliest creature ever to grace the earth. An unearthly beauty with sorrowful eyes and a lifetime of pain etched into its soul. He looked like a fallen angel...no, not fallen. Cast out...betrayed...rejected, but not fallen. He was too good to fall.  
  
Absorbed in the sight of the angel who's lap he occupied, he didn't move as slender white hands lifted to rest one on each side of his face, an electric shock shivering down his spine as one callused thumb ghosted across his high cheekbone.  
  
"Please, Fei-chan," he whispered, warm breath caressing the others face. "Let me help you."  
  
Violet eyes lit up with joy as the raven tressed boy slowly nodded his consent and haltingly began his tale.  
  
"I was dreaming about...my parents," he began, voice subdued. Duo nodded encouragingly, knowing that though Wufei wasn't looking at him, he would still sense his support.  
  
"It was an arranged marriage. They fought all the time. They yelled and screamed and swore at each other, but...sometimes it was worse. Sometimes, mostly when my father had been drinking, he would hit her...or me. Whenever that happened, `Kasaan would try to keep me out of the way. If I wasn't right there where he could see me he didn't bother looking for me." Wufei's voice was so soft that Duo could barely hear it over his own breathing. He cuddled Wufei's slender body closer and was rewarded by a soft sigh as he relaxed further into Duo's embrace. "But she couldn't always protect me. Sometimes, I was the only one there when he came home drunk. And sometimes...I couldn't hide before he saw me." He hesitated for a long moment. "But most of the time I just got yelled at, `Kaa-san is the one who really got hurt. But, then she...died."  
  
Duo's eyes narrowed to burning slits and he growled menacingly. "Your father?"  
  
"No..." Duo blinked and looked down at Wufei's sorrowful face. "Drunk driver...when I was eleven. And despite how he acted `Tousan must have loved her because he took her death real hard. He broke down, when he found out. It was the only time I ever saw him cry. He also stopped drinking. He couldn't stand to look in the mirror because every time he did, the man that killed her stared back at him. He knew that he had an alcohol problem and was hurting us. He knew that he needed to do something about it. `Kasaan's death just drove the point home. He realized that with different timing and slightly different circumstances, it could've easily been him that killed her."  
  
//Exit: light  
  
Enter: night//  
  
"That's what's giving you nightmares?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
Wufei was avoiding meeting Duo's eyes. "But there's more isn't there."  
  
Wufei remained silent, shoulders hunched protectively and face shadowed by a fall of silky hair.  
  
Duo ground his teeth in frustration. "What happened?" He persisted. Wufei's body language positively screamed `I'm hiding something' and there was no doubt in his mind that that `something' was the heart of the problem. "What changed?" Please trust me. "You can tell me."  
  
"Iie," Wufei replied from behind a curtain of glossy black hair. "You'll hate me."  
  
Duo brushed fine strands of silk from Wufei's face and rested his pale cheek against Wufei's bronzed one. "I could never hate you," he murmured. "You're one of my closest friends and no matter what you did, no matter what was done to you, it won't change how much I care about you." Wufei's eyelashes fluttered against Duo's cheek as he leaned into his embrace.  
  
"What happened?" he repeated gently.  
  
"He saw me with...someone."  
  
Duo rolled his eyes. Well, that was vague enough. God, pulling nails out of a rock would be easier! "Who?"  
  
"A...friend...that lived near us. He...was my best friend..." his voice trailed off, gaze firmly fixed on the hands clasped together in his lap.  
  
Though physically he was doing his best to comfort a very distraught teen, mentally, the braided pilot leaped up and did a little dance. He! his mind screamed ecstatically. Wufei said *HE*! Maybe he did have a chance! He paused in his antics as a darkly jealous thought struck him. Just what were they caught doing? Possibility after possibility flashed through his mind, the jealous flames leaping higher and devouring each scenario with glee. *No*body touched *his* Wufei and got away with it!  
  
But of course all Wufei knew was that he was still in Duo's arms. He hadn't pushed him away, hadn't stared in disgust, hadn't done anything but keep his arms wrapped possessively around him. Maybe, just maybe, it was safe to trust in him. Maybe, his vow of friendship *would* hold true no matter what.  
  
"'Tousan got home early one day and saw us kissing." Duo's green-eyed monsters grumbled and retreated in disgust. "He was furious. Zhie took one look at his face and bolted,"[5] he gave a wry laugh, "he was the smart one. I didn't even make it to the door before he caught me and dragged me back inside."  
  
Duo felt sick. He had a pretty good idea of what was bound to come next, and it wasn't something he wanted to think about.  
  
"I got knocked out towards the end so I don't remember much of what actually happened, just how much it hurt. It was weeks before the bruises faded and months before I could breathe without feeling like my ribs were shredding my lungs." He drew in a ragged breath, tears glistening like diamonds upon his thick eyelashes. "And you know what the really sad part is?" His voice was tainted by a disturbing edge of hysteria. "No one noticed! No one fucking *noticed* that I wore my hair down every day to hide the bruises on my neck or that I was quieter than usual or that I went out of my way to avoid being bumped or jostled! Nobody! He tried to `beat the gay' out of me almost *every day* and as long as my grades didn't slip and my clothes hid most of the damage, it was like I was invisible, no one suspected anything! They never saw the injuries I came to school with that day, or the ones that appeared the day after that and the week after that and the year after that..."  
  
A choked gasp from the other boy cut him and he gazed up with tear filled eyes at the horrified boy. "Years..." Duo whispered. "God...how long this happen?"  
  
One trembling caramel hand roughly wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks. "A little more than a year. Then I began to be trained as a pilot and Laoshi O refused to let him see me. He's the only person that ever knew, the only person who cared to listen...until now." Wufei freed himself from Duo's arms and turned to face the other boy.  
  
"Duo, why..." he adorably caught his full lower lip between perfectly straight teeth and then continued in a rush. "Why *are* you listening? Usually you just tease me or play jokes on me. Why are you acting so...so...caring?"  
  
Duo smiled warmly. "Because, baka, I *do* care. I only teased you because you needed to be teased." Wufei gave him a skeptical look. "No, seriously! You held yourself away from us so much that I figured you weren't used to being around people. Hey, I know people who are really, truly, honest-to-God antisocial, and hard as you tried, you just didn't pull it off. So I figured you were either shy or weren't quite sure how to act. Either way, you needed someone to act familiar with you, someone to get you involved, to give you something to react to." He winked flirtatiously. "Even if it was just practical jokes and friendly bickering."  
  
Wufei's lips quirked upwards into a mischievous smile. "What makes you think it was *friendly* bickering?"  
  
An answering grin spread over Duo's face. "Because," he reached out a finger and poked at Wufei's lower lip. "You kept getting the same cute little smile that you're wearing now." Wufei's expression abruptly changed from amused to faintly shocked. "C-cute?!" "Nah, maybe not cute..." Duo said huskily. His fingers traced the Asian boy's face before tangling themselves in his inky black hair. "More like utterly beautiful."  
  
Neither was sure exactly when they had begun to lean towards each other, but a pleasant shock went through both boys as they met in a kiss so light that their lips barely brushed each other. They pulled away, giggling slightly as their noses bumped, [6] and locked eyes in a heated gaze, lips hovering only centimeters apart before once more closing the gap between them and indulging in a long, lingering kiss.  
  
Soon Wufei was once again seated in Duo's lap, this time straddling him so they could reach each others lips more readily as Duo coaxed Wufei's mouth open so he could deepen the kiss. Their eyes drifted shut as Wufei slid his hand up Duo's body to wrap his arms securely around his neck, pressing their naked chests against one another. Duo's free hand trailed down satiny smooth skin until it rested at the small of Wufei's back, then experimentally drifted lower to brush along the tempting boxer clad rear clad seated in his lap. Wufei let out something between a moan and a throaty purr at the feather light caress before the need for air once again forced them apart.  
  
Hearts pounding, they rested their foreheads against one another, rapid breaths mingling as they drowned themselves in each other's eyes. For that moment, everything was perfect.  
  
The moment shattered as Wufei abruptly pulled away and yawned loudly. He blinked sleepily and looked at Duo, "What?" Duo gave him an exasperated look. "Hey, it's not my fault I haven't been sleeping well lately," Wufei pouted, crossing his arms defensively.  
  
Duo pulled him into an affectionate hug. "I know, but it's still frustrating. Tell ya what, whadaya say we go to bed, get some sleep and finish this in the morning?"  
  
"Can't," Wufei pointed towards the still open window.  
  
"Huh?" Duo asked intelligently. He turned to look where Wufei was pointing only to be met by a warm wash of light as the sun peeked over the horizon. "Well, damn..." Duo stared in disbelief before grinning and turning back to his koi. Wufei let out an undignified squawk as, in a single movement, he was swept into the other boys arms and dumped unceremoniously on the bed. He glared as the maniacally grinning Duo leaped in next to him and tugged him into his arms.  
  
"So we'll continue after lunch, no biggie!" He said cheerfully, then hurriedly continued. "Unless of course you'd rather I go to my room. You know...in case one of the others comes looking for you and sees us in bed and ..."  
  
Wufei cut him off with a passionate kiss before settling himself comfortably in the stunned boy's arms and dropping off to sleep.  
  
Duo chuckled. "Guess I'm staying." He snuggled against the slender body curled against him and drifted into dreamland on the wings of ebon-eyed angels.  
  
OWARI  
  
[1] A friend of mine does this to buy himself time during and/or right before arguments. His reasoning is: "smile a little...it makes them wonder what you're up to." (this is a quote from somewhere, but I can't remember who said it) It struck me as the kind of thing Duo would do.  
  
[2] Ya know that saying "one step forward, two steps back...?" It refers to making some progress and then something happens and it's worse than it was before...? Ok, bad joke, bad reference...please forgive my horrible sense of humor.  
  
[3] Aiyah...now I'm quoting T-shirts -_-;;  
  
[4] Dunno if this is actually a name, but I'm using it anyway because it's not too horrible. Anyway, I got it from this random site where you type in your name and birthday and it gives you a Chinese name based on it. (Though I don't have a clue `bout what I typed in to get Zhie.) http://www.mandarintools.com/chinesename.html I dunno if it's at all accurate, but it is kind of interesting.  
  
[5] *growls* Jackass! How dare you ditch your boyfriend!  
  
[6] I don't know *anyone* (including me ^_^) that has gotten through a first kiss with someone without bumping noses or some other little awkward thing like that. It's practically a law: first kisses never go smoothly. 


End file.
